"Better off Alive"

The Knife slips deeper in my throat.
The blood surrounds me like a moat.
It's painful because I can't get air.
I wish I had used the rope and chair.

Everything is now getting black.
There's no one now to bring me back.
I am so happy that I'm about to die.
And this is only my second try.

I feel now a warmth in another place.
I'm flying up, hurling through space.
The warmth is becoming more of a burn.
Things are flying by that I can't discern.

There is a surface coming very near.
I'm going very fast, and now in fear.
I hit the ground, and now I'm in pain.
It feels like I've been hit by a train.

When I stand up, I find myself on a hill.
I see such beauty it gives me a thrill.
I see an astonishing pearly white wall.
It seems very strong and very tall.

A beautiful lake glimmers in the sun.
I head that way, in a very fast run.
Suddenly the ground drops from my feet.
I'm now in a room with a large blackened seat.

Suddenly a figure appears in that chair.
I know it's not God and I think it unfair.
I fell to my knees pleading my sins.
That's when the hellish laughter begins.

He lifts his arm and points at me.
Gates are lifted and demons are free.
They slash at me with long sharp claws.
Their teeth are razor sharp like handsaws.

Screaming they eat me except for an eye.
My body rejuvenates so I can again die.
I never thought of what would happen in Hell
Compared to this, My life was very well.